To feel it tonight this way
Is like a reminder that I live.
Good or bad, I cannot tell;
I can taste my pulse in my tongue
And weigh yesterday’s nightmares on my eyes.
I’ve been awake since the break of the New Year,
With failed resolutions to collect and dispose
After the parties were all over.
I’ve pushed myself through drunken nights,
I levitated; no I didn’t.
I’ve stayed, wide awake, through Valentine mockeries,
Too scared of tears to shut my eyes.
Or maybe I haven’t, and insomnia makes me lose track of time.
Caffeine tingles on fingertips going numb
As the keyboard click-clucks to new meanings and realizations;
I didn’t know what I thought till I wrote it and it became my truth.
Cruel misnomer it is—an energy drink with a promise kept.
You wish it hadn’t, though. You wish it really hadn’t.
My heart pumps fatigue lubdublubdublubdublubdub.
And terrified of the dreams waiting on the other side,
I can’t sleep tonight.
About the poet:
Mouli Banerjee is currently pursuing her master’s degree in English Literature from St. Stephen’s College, New Delhi. Amateur poet and poetry enthusiast, Mouli loves travelling, singing, and writing fiction among others.